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Why I Left Church

/ EllieJ

You probably don’t know me. If you do, there’s a good chance you don’t know my whole story. I’m not shy about it, but neither have I been terribly public about it. But the truth is, my “story” is a part of who and what I am today and has been a major contributing factor to my current journey.

My journey is my own. I know of many people who are walking a similar path and many who will never set foot anywhere near it. I’m not saying that my way is the right way and your way is the wrong way. I simply want to give context so that maybe you will have a better understanding of where I’m coming from.

As of the writing of this post, it’s been a year and a half since I formally requested a release from the church I had been a part of for over seven years. In those seven years, there wasn’t an area of ministry I had not been involved in in some way or another. From janitorial and building improvement, to kid’s and youth ministry, men’s and women’s ministry, small groups, corporate prayer, graphics and media, worship, and even preaching, I had done it all. I did it for years without question. That was how I’d been raised. But then something changed.

I started to read my Bible—not so different from what all of us who profess to be Christians should be doing, but I wasn’t just reading it and putting it away, I was reading it looking for something to take with me as I went about my day.

The change started slowly. It was (and still is) exciting. I was seeing the Bible in a different way and making connections I’d never seen or heard of before. And while I was making connections on one hand, I was seeing a disconnect on the other hand. The Church of the Bible didn’t look much like the church I was so busy “doing.” I’d read about what Jesus was doing and how He was teaching His disciples, but failed to see how that had been translated in to what I was doing for the church.

Let me be clear, I am in no way knocking the local church. I believe there is a place for it, but I also believe that we all need to take a close look at our part in it and why we do what we do. Most of what I was doing for the church had little or no biblical foundation. Before you get all riled up, I strongly encourage you to look into this for yourself. Forget everything you think you know about what church should look like and go to the Gospels to see exactly what Jesus said He would build. If you’d never been exposed to church in your life and read the first five books of the New Testament and then walked into a church building, would it meet your expectations? Be honest.

The first week after leaving church was strange. I’d never intentionally skipped out on a Sunday service a day in my life. The next week was even more strange, as was the next. I eventually settled in to a new routine and actually found myself able to relax on weekends instead of spending Saturday preparing for Sunday and spending Sunday doing everything I’d prepared for on Saturday. There was no rest for me on the “day of rest.” Without “doing” church, I found rest. I felt like I could breathe again, never having realised I’d stopped doing that somewhere along the way.

Why do I put “doing” in quotes? I think there is a massive difference in going through the motions of church (activity in a local organised body)—the doing—and being the Church (the global body of Christ).

Before COVID hit, I’d attend a local denominational congregation every once in a while. After spending 20 years as a worship leader, I missed corporate worship. I also met on a weekly basis with several other people who found themselves on a similar path. We were all in need of fellowship and encouragement to help with the healing process.

Fast forward to today. I’m part of a local small group with no church affiliations and I’m also part of an online small group with a church affiliation. Both groups are family to me. If the lockdown ever ends, I have no plans to join another local congregation.

Most people would rather forget 2020. I don’t. 2020 was a year of immeasurable growth for me. I learned so much that I wouldn’t trade for anything. I’m learning to forget what I thought I knew and open my mind and heart to what the Bible actually teaches. Verse-by-verse, I’m exploring what it really means to be a part of the Church Jesus said He would build—and I don’t have to be a part of something men are trying to build to do that.

Being a part of the body of Christ is not the same thing as being a member of a local church. The two are not the same thing. I’ve known of people who were involved in a local church that never made a commitment for Christ and I know many strong believers who never darken the door of a church building.

I think this pandemic has offered churches (and their members) across the globe an incredible opportunity to redefine what it really means to be a believer. Many leaders are embracing this time and are re-evaluating and redirecting so that when they are allowed to open the doors again, nothing will be as it was. It’s my prayer that believers everywhere, in establishing a “new normal,” also take this time to re-establish themselves, not in a local church, but in Christ.

Pick me!

/ EllieJ / Leave a comment

Do you remember being a kid on the playground just waiting and hoping that a team captain would pick you? Of course all the best players got picked first. Then the best friends (that is, if they weren’t the very best players). And last, the kids who weren’t really friends with anyone and would rather be sitting inside with a book than out on the dusty field with a kick ball.

If you were one of the kids who wanted to get picked, but weren’t fortunate enough to be friends with a captain or talented enough to be in the top five, chances are that you played your hardest that first time in hopes that you’d get picked higher up in the draft the next time the teacher hauled you all out to the diamond. You wanted to prove your worth. Contribute. Be a productive member of the team. You wanted to be on the winning side.

As cliché as it may sound, you’ve been picked. And at the top of the draft no less. But that’s the easy part.

So make every effort to apply the benefits of these promises to your life. Then your faith will produce a life of moral excellence. A life of moral excellence leads to knowing God better. Knowing God leads to self-control. Self-control leads to patient endurance, and patient endurance leads to godliness. Godliness leads to love for other Christians, and finally you will grow to have genuine love for everyone. The more you grow like this, the more you will become productive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

2 Peter 1:5-8 (NLT)

Even if you were the kid who got picked last, you didn’t want to let your team down. The only thing worse than being the last one chosen is being the last one chosen who loses the game for the rest of the team.

The team we’ve been chosen to join is the Church. The body of Christ. And no one has been called to the sidelines. There is no such thing as a benchwarmer.

So, dear brothers and sisters, work hard to prove that you are really among those God has called and chosen. Doing this, you will never stumble or fall away.

2 Peter 1:10 (NLT)

First, be proud that you’ve been picked. Put on the jersey, so to speak. Let everyone know that you’re on the team. Second, be worthy of wearing the team logo. If you’re going to call yourself a Christian, act like one. Make your other team members, your brothers and sisters in Christ, look good because of what you do and say. Third, be a team player. Be a part of what God has called you to. Be active. Be productive. Do all that you can to make your team—your church—as successful as you can. Prove that you are on the team and worthy of it. If you do all of this, not only will you be less likely to quit, but you’ll draw others in to be a part of the team.

Daily Bible reading: Ezekiel 41-42, 2 Peter1